Dear Gnome,

(As posted to Dear Gnome)
It is driving me mad! Google avails me not! Several sites with rhyme words come up blank. It is my Unicorn! My White Whale! My rare epic drop! I must have it, and yet I cannot find it.

Let me explain.

When first Blizzard indicated that some future playable characters might be a bit bloody mary now and then, I first imagined them with a bit of a twist and shout flavour. And then the beta came out, and begods… that looks just like London in the Jack-the-ripper era! And then, in a fit of creativity, they had some of them utter words in… Gilnean Rhyming Slang!

Now Cockney Rhyming Slang, despite rumours, was not specifically designed as a code to fool the constabulary. It’s a regional accent like… well unlike any other. Speaking it tells the Cockneys that here is one of us. The horrified stares it gets from the tourists are merely a side benefit. Another thing to remember is that it’s lower- to working class. Any fanfic that has King Genn Greymane speaking it will be mocked mercilessly.

So this is how it works. You take two things that usually go together, like, oh, apples and pears. The second bit rhymes with the thing you want to go together: Apples and pears – Stairs. (Which is a genuine Cockney Rhyming Slang that has, by Royal decree, gone old, and isn’t used anymore, except by the Queen, in private, just before she addresses Parliament). Then you leave off the bit that actually rhymes, and while the policeman is working it out, you disappear up the apples. Another thing that’s often done these days, is to use the names of a celebrity. “I dint believe me Britneys…” Britney… Spears… Ears. There ye go!

Now you must be guessing already what I’m getting at. If there were any one thing that a Gilnean would want to have a slang for, it would be a Worgen. And nothing that a Gilnean would say bloody rhymes with Worgen. I could use “Thomas Morgan”, but who the hoi-sin is Thomas Morgan? The only thing I can come up with is “organ”. Church organ, ye grubby bugger. Hmm… “Blimey! I never knew His Majesty was a Church.” “Get the hell out of here, ye tosser! There’s a whole litter of Churches in those woods!”

Right. Worgen are Churches. Thankyou for letting me think that through. Carry on.

A relieved fanficcer.

Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.


  • Dax  On February 21, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    Ah hah! I found you! I was worried when I couldn’t find any of your work pieces available on FFN anymore. Great thing I googled your name and it brought me here. I’m looking forward to newer series from you! And I’d like to add that “Hot and Steamy” was a really great series, I didn’t get the chance to leave you a comment the other time though, sadly. I like the how easy I could just get into the story, and how I’d crave for newer episodes every night! 😀 I’ll be looking forward to more of this warm-hearted, comedy, mystery and action pack stories from you! Kudos to you, sir! 😀

    • bannog  On February 22, 2011 at 10:04 am

      Hullo Dax, and welcome. FFN’s email-collecting spree was the last drop. This place doesn’t mess with your layout: VERTICAL WHITESPACE YAY! I’m currently reworking one of my older stories, about Bannog’s little sister, and combining it with a new story about a HUMAN rogue in Gilneas. Who is not, in any way shape or form… um… Nevermind. He’s named Cullan, though in the unsavoury circles he moves round in now, he’s known as Cuchullainn, which means “The Hound Of Cullan”. I’m about half way through the story, and will start pumping out the chapters here when I’m done.

%d bloggers like this: