My common is not what it should be, but…

ani_ariciel Right, so I got a note through the Twisting Nethers. If you’re wondering how this could be, then let me assure you that compared to routing email through some of the networks I’ve been in, the Twisting Nethers are a piece of cake.  The sender was my favourite bear Druid girl Ariciel, and it was an image, so I got to see her handwriting. The note started out in her nice, regular, steady Darnassian-style script, but got progressively more… rough for want of a better word.

Here’s the translation:

Dear Emperor Shaohao,

I’ve been running round your Timeless Isle for a week or two, and it’s beautiful. I’m really enjoying the fine views hanging from a seagull’s beak whacking it with my stick, unable to shift into bear shape. I love playing with the burning bisons that you have taken a dislike to, and the timeless coins that you offer, which nobody off this island accepts. Recently, one of your nice Celestials gave me a lovely pair of gloves, and all I had to do was bite his long skinny legs off. Love love love it here.

There’s just one tiny little thing. Your despicable enemies, and that charming see-through pandaren girl standing next to you, keep giving me chest pieces. Now don’t get me wrong, I love chest pieces. All five of them are beautifully crafted, amazingly strong, and very very comfortable. It’s just that I would really like a pair of trousers to go with them. A nice pair of trousers just as strong, with the same charming pattern worked into them as in my five, FIVE chest pieces.

Now I know that my chest is important. I know that it is a wonderful chest. Humans and Elves have commented on how much they like it, and keeping it warm and safe is what I wake up every morning thinking of, but really, I have the best armour for my chest. My boobs, I’ll tell you, are as safe as they can be.

I’m not trying to boast, but I also have lovely legs, and all I have is a pair of mushanhide leggings I picked up a while ago in the Townlong Steppes. I know I’m better of with them than I am without, but they chafe in places I don’t want to mention. And the trousers you offer all I need to complete the set, which will look stunning, I’m sure, and keep sharp things away from my skin. So if you wouldn’t mind could you stop thinking about my boobs for five minutes and give me a pair of trousers?

Thank you!

Love,
Ariciel.

 

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