#IceCrownChallenge, or ROFLstomping for charity (@ArcaneRatsel)

One of my very good vague acquaintances, Arcane Ratsel on Twitter, organised a charity event for the American Society for the Prevention of Suicide. After a pointed look from Ariciel, who still occasionally reminds me of that time in Shattrath on the elevator, I took her into Icecrown Citadel to basically paint it red. This is her story. It is picture heavy, so proceed with a thought to your bandwidth.

Greetings fellow traveller,

Ariciel in combat gearI am known by many names (That Annoying Elf, Tall Bimbo, “Rici”, all by my Gnome friends of whom I have none), but if you do not want a face full of bear, then you may call me Ariciel. I am a Feral (or these days Guardian) Druid of the Cenarion Circle, student of Mathrengyl Bearwalker. When I heard about Ratsel’s idea, I wanted in. I am now more powerful than that git Arthas could ever imagine, and it’s payback time for all those times I got splattered into the ground. So off to Off to IcecrownIcecrown I went. Now as any fool knows, getting there is half the fun, so I put on my nice woolly jumper and my Argent Tabard. Amazingly, that thing even works all the way from Lunarfall. Travelling by teleportation always gives me the drempels, but there’s no denying it’s fast. And it was so completely worth it, because in the cold hard lands to the North,ICC_screenshot3 I could do something I haven’t done in this place for ages: Spread my wings! You wouldn’t believe how good it feels to be in the air again after slogging it in deer form or on cat-back for so long. I remember well the times I’ve been in Icecrown. Not always as successful, and generally a scary business. I must confess I haven’t felt this kind of bloodlust since I took down a Fel Reaver in the other Draenor. Much prefer this one.

I started out as Cat, because that is ever so slightly quicker than bear or even on my own (gorgeouMarrowgars – modesty is dishonesty) legs. Would you believe it? Varian is still there! Forgot to stick out my tongue and dashed into the first group of enemies. By Cenarius, they fought like paper cutouts! They make such neat little piles when they all die at the same time. Even those annoying giants! Bet they wish they stayed asleep now. After that, I met an old friend: Marrowgar. Hovering in his usual place, showing us his bone axe. So help me Cenarius, I teared up thinking about all the times I moved out of the way of his ice attack just a bit too late. This time round, no such luck. My bear fur is a lot thicker now and I stayed frosty but unharmed through the fight.

Next was this Lich bint. Usually in Icecrown, my job was to pick up the extras and drag them aroundGreen bear butt to keep them from hurting the rest of the club. Didn’t notice much of them now. Came out of there without even a healing spell and my bear butt a very fetching green colour. Some of the audience were still sitting on their benches pretending that all this was part of the show. Next was the trip on board the Skybreaker, by some called the lootship. I still don’t remember exactly what happened, but I attached rockets to my bear butt (endless fun hopping from one boat to the other), fired a few cannonballs, and then the Orcs just buggered off and we could get to the front door. Now the front door to the upper spire is one of the prettiest I’ve ever seen, with a In your FACE, festergut?kind of goat motif and it folds away and an Orc came out, not at all pretty. I’m a Druid, I like green things. This one was a kind of grey. And talked too much. And died too quickly.

Next, I walked into the Plague quarter of the spire, even as Jaina was still blubbing about how wonderful Varian was. Darling, you’re welcome to him. I like my men a bit less hairy and a whole lot less grumpy. Ran in, got attacked, massacred everyone, kicked Putricide’s puppies, kicked Festergut in the face (if that’s what it Ariciel pretends to be balancewas, bit hard to tell). Then did the same to Rotface. This time I remembered to turn on the tap, so I could actually get to Professor Putricide. Just before I got in, though, I got attacked again by loads and loads of flesh-eating insects. Don’t you just hate it when a quest bugs out on you? I did something I haven’t done for ages: I cast Hurricane. Reason I never do that these days is that as a Bear, mine is pathetically weak and does little more than annoy the enemies. But strangely, it worked fine on these bugs. Found Putricide, splatted Putricide. None of that turning into hideous creatures for me, thank you very much. I like my face the way it is. I’m a night-elf, zits happen to other people.

Went into the next area, and met a whole bunch of interesting Vrykul. I’ve been a Vrykul on occasion. Aww, pretty Valkyrie!They are a riot, once you get past the “murder all the lesser creatures” thing that they do. And the actual Valkyries are beautiful. Such a shame you have to rip their guts out. So. Ripped their guts out, and went into the next room, where a bunch of unsavoury characters were casting very nasty spells on a pretty green dragon. Dragons are an endangered species. These days they live a reclusive existence in Northrend, where they spend their days playing bridge, and I can’t say I blame them one bit. Now bacHealers? Who needs healers?k in the day, it took a band of four or five healers healing their little hearts out to get this girl back to health. Meanwhile, other people had to perform some kind of acrobatics in the air. Today, I cast a few regrowths and a healing touch and away she went. Enemies? What enemies? Came down with a nasty case of the rot worms. I hate digging around knee deep in rotting flesh. Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong.

Next camOh no! It's the inside of a dragon!e Sindragosa. Bitch. Kept spitting ice at me and keeping me from moving. And all because I killed a few whelps and dragons. It wasn’t like they weren’t dead already, I just… well, you know what Undead are like. Honestly. Managed to get rid of her, and got a headache the likes of which I’ve never had since I plundered the Goblin ice cream man in the Shimmering Flats. What can I say? It was strawberry.

Oh look, it's the Lich King!Went up one of those teleportation devices. Remember I said I didn’t like teleportation? This one left me with a weird metallic cold taste in my mouth. No idea why. And then I met Tirion staring up at Bolvar, who wasn’t having the best of days, poor thing. Arthas was sitting in his chair making nasty comments. So I told Tirion to get on with it and His Kingship came down to give one of his speeches. Yeah, I know. Before you kill me, Haha! You will hear my exposition!will you explain your whole strategy to me? Why of course. So few people appreciate the finer points of evil plans. Started tearCheer!ing him a new one without letting him finish, but not before he stuck Tirion in an ice block. Thanks mate, that is very helpful. At least you could have got stuck looking my way? But anyway, with all that new gear and proper training, I tore through Arthas like a thing that tears through Lich Kings very well, though he did make an awful lot of noise and stink. And then I got stuck, and nearly died of villain monologue, until Tirion remembered he was a Paladin and could bubble even without a hearthstone, who’d have thought it? He put in the last hit, and Arthas was no more.

Ahh... Home sweet home.So that was it. Went back to the garrison, for a nice cup of hot cocoa. Had a chat with Lieutenant Thorn. Apparently Qiana keeps asking to go on missions with Daleera, and coming back late. Something may be going on there. Well, you’re one to talk my lovely. Is that Mr. Alexston I see there? With his shirt off? Made you look! All in all, the garrison is coming along nicely, the followers (And my little egalitarian stomach turns at that word, who thought I’d be a commander some day? Bannog enjoys every minute of it of course, but he is nobility), the followers are following properly.

But then again, I’m a druid. We take care of ourselves. And there is one very good side to having a cat form.

Ssssh...

Yours,

Aciciel of the Cenarion Circle.

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