Category Archives: Uncategorized

So You Want To Be A Druid? A @dianeduane #YoungWizards Fanfic

Look away Mrs. Duane, here be fanfic.

This is me once more stealing characters I like for my own enjoyment. The story is set at the end of “A Wizard of Mars”. It would seem that young Mr. Rodriguez has taken himself away from it all to the pleasant lands of Azeroth, with Miss Callahan hot on his trail. They are about to get relationship advice from a Guardian Druid who turns into a bear and bites people for a living.

There is no way this could possibly go wrong.

So You Want To Be A Druid – Click here to read

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For @ArcaneRatsel: The nice thing about warlocks

The Nice Thing About Warlocks

This story is firstly a present for Arcane Ratsel, who has just seen her worst nightmare come true: She has to say something… NICE about WARLOCKS. On Youtube! The reason is that she’s recently organised a charity roflstomp that I participated in, and she’s just hit $1000, which is going to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Well done Rätsel!

The other reason I’m writing this is because I’m curious how my Gnomes (Steambender and recently Shutfast) are doing in Draenor. Can’t stay away from the Gnomes. So, Rätsel is going to run into them, but first, she’s going to run into some rather larger individuals.


 

 

#IceCrownChallenge, or ROFLstomping for charity (@ArcaneRatsel)

One of my very good vague acquaintances, Arcane Ratsel on Twitter, organised a charity event for the American Society for the Prevention of Suicide. After a pointed look from Ariciel, who still occasionally reminds me of that time in Shattrath on the elevator, I took her into Icecrown Citadel to basically paint it red. This is her story. It is picture heavy, so proceed with a thought to your bandwidth.

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Progress!

Words and chapters.

3830 eldo04.txt – Revised.
1059 eldo05.txt – Started.

 

Can’t believe I never posted this here…

This, I wrote as a response to someone complaining about the sometimes extremely outlandish characters you find Role Playing in Azeroth some times. I thinkl it is over on AO3, and LiveJournal of course. But it wasn’t here. Click! Enjoy!

Josie: The rarest mage in the world

A biting matter…

aricielSo, the next expansion of WoW is going to be nice – hope my old computer can pull it. I may have to get a whole new one sometime soon. But be that as it may, the new Night-elf female model was revealed recently, and while these girls are definitely gorgeous, there’s one pointy issue.

Fangs. Ariciel is getting fangs! Now from an aestetic viewpoint, I’m not against this. Make ’em look fierce! Night-elves are not to be messed with. But in all these years, I haven’t noticed them, so I didn’t put anything about them in my stories. And one would notice, I think. Ariciel does smile a lot, and fangs would definitely give her smile a bit of an edge. Also, one would notice it while osculating, I believe (even though in my little stories, you have to teach Elves to kiss as they do something else among themselves). Anyway, this is what it looks like as shown by Chris G Robinson:

Night elf with cute little fangs

Night elf with cute little fangs

A lovely lass, but… yeah. I never mentioned Ariciel’s fangs before. How am I going to fit them into future stories? Ignore them? Do Night-elves only grow them when they turn thirty? Milk teeth falling out kind of thing?

Answers on a postcard.

Slough – a rebuke

There’s this Poem by John Betjeman , a kind of ode to Slough, but in reverse. So I look up a few readings of the poem on youtube, and all of them seem so… insipid. Muted. “Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough. If you don’t mind terribly, you know, whenever it’s convenient.” If you’re going to rant, put some wellie into it, why don’t you. Now town planning has hit Slough instead of the bombs, and it’s a normal, average, English city now. So there’s a counter-poem to Mr. Betjeman’s poem, written as part of a contest by a school girl, but it’s too nice. “Please Mr. Betjeman, it’s much better now… if you take a look?”

Sod that.

So here’s my personal rebuke. Feel free to perform it, but flying spittle is mandatory.

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I write like…

flexorWell, that is interesting… My current WIP (Which by the way is NOT WoWfic, but…) is written from the perspective of four different characters in turn. I got P.G. Wodehouse, Jane Austen, George Orwell, and H.P. Lovecraft. Nice to see that I do manage to give all these characters their own voice. According to a machine on the Internet of course. Mustn’t get too excited. But Margaret? She’s never used the word “Grotesque” even once!

 

My common is not what it should be, but…

ani_ariciel Right, so I got a note through the Twisting Nethers. If you’re wondering how this could be, then let me assure you that compared to routing email through some of the networks I’ve been in, the Twisting Nethers are a piece of cake.  The sender was my favourite bear Druid girl Ariciel, and it was an image, so I got to see her handwriting. The note started out in her nice, regular, steady Darnassian-style script, but got progressively more… rough for want of a better word.

Here’s the translation:

Dear Emperor Shaohao,

I’ve been running round your Timeless Isle for a week or two, and it’s beautiful. I’m really enjoying the fine views hanging from a seagull’s beak whacking it with my stick, unable to shift into bear shape. I love playing with the burning bisons that you have taken a dislike to, and the timeless coins that you offer, which nobody off this island accepts. Recently, one of your nice Celestials gave me a lovely pair of gloves, and all I had to do was bite his long skinny legs off. Love love love it here.

There’s just one tiny little thing. Your despicable enemies, and that charming see-through pandaren girl standing next to you, keep giving me chest pieces. Now don’t get me wrong, I love chest pieces. All five of them are beautifully crafted, amazingly strong, and very very comfortable. It’s just that I would really like a pair of trousers to go with them. A nice pair of trousers just as strong, with the same charming pattern worked into them as in my five, FIVE chest pieces.

Now I know that my chest is important. I know that it is a wonderful chest. Humans and Elves have commented on how much they like it, and keeping it warm and safe is what I wake up every morning thinking of, but really, I have the best armour for my chest. My boobs, I’ll tell you, are as safe as they can be.

I’m not trying to boast, but I also have lovely legs, and all I have is a pair of mushanhide leggings I picked up a while ago in the Townlong Steppes. I know I’m better of with them than I am without, but they chafe in places I don’t want to mention. And the trousers you offer all I need to complete the set, which will look stunning, I’m sure, and keep sharp things away from my skin. So if you wouldn’t mind could you stop thinking about my boobs for five minutes and give me a pair of trousers?

Thank you!

Love,
Ariciel.

 

Jumping Ship

Well, I’ve done it. After five years in the Azeroth Buccaneers, Ariciel has now left the building, to join a tiny little guild on the Darkspear server. I haven’t exactly left AB, and even in its slumbering state, Azeroth Buccaneers, of “Arr” and “Yer be needin’ a parrot matey, or you ain’t nothing but a deckswab”, will always be my home. But the sad truth is, I haven’t been in a Pandaria dungeon yet. Yesterday, I ran a three-man scenario with Seashell and her husband. Oh. One thing that does get left behind on a server transfer? It’s your macros! Trying to fight when half your abilities somehow fail to go off is… Interesting.

But yeah. I’ll be on again tonight, to see if I can get Ariciel some proper gear before going off on another adventure. I’m a fairly competent fighter, really I am.